Silent Humor Fan Gifts

'Fine, I'll tip you, just let me out!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'More government surveillance!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

How men process questions.

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

Biden Ignores the G7 Leaders on Afghanistan

Sign # 23 that you've spent too much time at a game: your nails are longer than your fingers and your hair touches your ankles.

"Italy just bought France."