Significant Others Pillows

"We met in Purgatory, and I think we're going to try to make it work long distance."

You're my Mona Lisa.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Romance

Diner.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

So Close..

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'Cow in love'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Romantic Giraffes

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"You're the lid to my pot."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Why we need poetry. . .

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Very Difficult Conversations