Signature Aficionado Gifts

"Sign here, here and here and then initial next to each signature, then sign again to verify those are your initials, then..."

"Sign my yearbook?"

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

They get into debt so fast these days...

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Beware of Everything

"So what do you do for a living?"

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

'I know that it's the Fourth of July, but I still don't think an air conditioner is supposed to do this.'

"P.J. is right. 'Rock solid financial product' does sound better than 'contrived get rich quick scheme.'"

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

You've done it again, Harry.