Sign Predictor Gifts

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Business is off the chart.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"I love your optimism."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Oh, I can't complain"

"It will be all your fault."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Psychic diving competition.

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

Groundhog. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, Ernie. We can't expect an early spring if your umbrella is the only reason he's not seeing his shadow.

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

Profit Chart with Happy and Sad Faces.

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

Business Meeting