Sign Predictor T-Shirts

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Business is off the chart.

"I love your optimism."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"It will be all your fault."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Psychic diving competition.

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

Profit Chart with Happy and Sad Faces.

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

"They said it couldn't be done. I suppose we should have listened to our lawyers."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'