Sign Humor Fan Pillows

The buck stops here. (I hope.)

Don't walk while cross.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Cake Free Zone

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

No, I don

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'More government surveillance!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."