Sign Humor Fan Pillows

Don't walk while cross.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

Cake Free Zone

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Trump Poutine

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'More government surveillance!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."