Siege Storyteller Pillows

Sand Castle Siege

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Lady of the bath...

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Paper Route

When cockroaches go unchecked.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

Three Witches from Macbeth

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"Less roman, more clef."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

When cartoonists get ahead of themselves.

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

Sylvia Plath

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

Tragedy and Material

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

'The Merry Men are NOT groupies!'

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.