Siege Humor Pillows

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

"The boss says he has an open door policy."

VACCINATION REFUSAL

DING DONG!

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

Tar umbrellas for sale at viking attack

'When the time comes, Goopta, I'd like to be bronzed.'

Service Entry.

"They've deployed their new missile defense system."

"Huh, somehow I missed that. So resting on our laurels is at the core of our new strategic plan."

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

'I told you not to let the children play with your Tony Blair effigy.'

'I thought this thing had been tried and tested.' 'It has... Didn't work that time either.'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Conference Bingo

Soldiers attempt to break into a castle with a credit card.

'I want to suck your toes.' - A problem for Maxwell Smart and his shoe-phone.

Support Our Apologists.

"They have been given one minute to get out of town."

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."