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'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Have you been waiting long?'

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Fairy tale

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"

The princess and the key

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'