Sideburn Admirer Gifts

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

Bad hair day!

'I admire your floatibility.'

Sunbathers.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

Curling your hair for no reason

Slug roulette

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"No, son. Let him finish."

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

A Bat walking a tightrope upside down.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

'I'll have the peeking duck.'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

Freedom of the Press

"She massages egos."

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

Punctuation Weather

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'