Sideburn Enthusiast Gifts

'Here after let this be known as the night of the long side burns!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Bearded Leftie.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Your five o'clock shadow is showing, Mike.

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

"I noticed a few browns."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

The Organic

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"It makes you look old."

Beard fails

Bicycle Sidecar.

"Oh, honey, you’ve got two croutons caught in your beard, and … is that an iPod Nano?!"

Two men in barber shop

"I've made a terrible mistake."

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

My Life in Beards.

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

Trilby - Sandy McAllister,'The Laird of Cockpen'.

Facial hair continental drift.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."