Sideburn Admirer Pillows

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

Bad hair day!

'I admire your floatibility.'

Sunbathers.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack's Poetic Justice

Curling your hair for no reason

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

Slug roulette

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"No, son. Let him finish."

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

A Bat walking a tightrope upside down.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

Celine Dion

'I'll have the peeking duck.'

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

Freedom of the Press

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"She massages egos."

Punctuation Weather

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'