Side Job Survivor Gifts

Side Hustle

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Working hours.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

Information. Innuendo

Spam in inbox.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."