Siblings Who Love Pets Pillows

Skeleton playing fetch.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

A large leaf falling on a dog

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

Dog wearing a cone

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Pet Entertainers

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Cat king.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".