Siblings Who Are Pet Owners Pillows

"Yep, that's water retention."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

A large leaf falling on a dog

Skeleton playing fetch.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Pet Entertainers

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Dog Birthdays

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

State of the Art Dog.

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

Jumping Dogs

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

Man wearing a dog cone

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'