Siblings' Birthdays Gifts

Baby beluga, middle child beluga, firstborn beluga

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Santa Claus's Mail

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"First class, or with children?"

"He likes it."

Late night teddy reading

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"She's been so creative lately."