Brother's Birthday Gifts

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'I sent out for everything.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Young Frankenstein"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Tartine

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"How can you be out of wings?"