Sibling Going To College Pillows

"This place feels huge since all my sisters went off to college."

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Likes: $2.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

The Charge of the Kids

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Teen's Comet

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

Fade to black...

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

Concerned about the poor geography skills of U.S. students, Westfield School District found a creative way to address the problem.

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Chippunks

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'