Sibling Going To College Gifts

"This place feels huge since all my sisters went off to college."

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Likes: $2.

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

The Charge of the Kids

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

Teen's Comet

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

Fade to black...

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Chippunks

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.