Academic Sibling Pillows

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Santa Claus's Mail

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"First class, or with children?"

Late night teddy reading

"She's been so creative lately."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."