Shyness Enthusiast Pillows

He was always painfully shy. (Originally published on 2004-04-07)

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Pencil eraser."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

Bashful Royal Guard

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

Turtle Blind dates

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

'. . . You seem to have a strange obsession with shyness and safe sex. . .'

Shy Man at Party

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

"Very good! Let's try it again. . . this time a little more assertively!"

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

"You smell like wet cardboard."

'Don't mind Ken, he's a bit shy around new people.'

'Shirley never had problems with spiders but cows just cracked her up.

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

"I keep telling you - vertigo is NOT a fear of heights!"

Well, I told you she fancied me!

SEX EDUCATION, 'Believe me, you don't WANT to know!'