Showroom Visitors Gifts

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Mistaken identity.

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Galoots in cahoots

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

Clown Art Museum - 'If you look at her pies, they almost seem to follow you.'

'You want a shampoo?... Great! My hands could do with a good wash.'

'Have you got one with smaller spots?'

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I bought you a software update...new underwear."

"Kate! Is this or is this not my ex?"

"I've been out of work since the showroom closed down."

"Thanks again, and I'll be seeing you real soon. Your new car has already been recalled."

'I won't be able to meet you today. My car's in the shop.'

"My husband will have his little joke - like not shaving for a week!"

The place where guys wait while their girlfriend tries on clothes.

'I was really looking for something my kids wouldn't want to borrow.'

'Cheese!'

'Mind dropping us off at Lords, old chap?'

"I'll take any model here so long as it's got a full tank."

A boy purchasing coal from a greengrocer.

'Just take a little off the top.'