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Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Music Hall Dancers

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Toenail clipping missile.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'I'm a star!'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'We had to donwsize.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

Boarway Show

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'