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Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Music Hall Dancers

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

'I'm a star!'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Toenail clipping missile.

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'We had to donwsize.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

Boarway Show

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"