Showbiz Spectator T-Shirts

Spot the face-lift.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Get in the box! I don't want to get in the box! Get in the box! Ha ha ha ha ha ..."

Showbiz Awards

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Time Machine Collision

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Music Hall Dancers

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'I'm a star!'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Hollywood producer.

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Child star Fatty Deposits humiliates Zippy, The Wonderdog, on the set of their latest movie, 'Too Cute For Comfort'....

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

'Now watch our sales increase.'

TV stage door

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Those who can can, dance."

"Looks like Broadway's back."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'