Show Creator Gifts

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Applause

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Little Red Riding Carpet

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Senior Jeopardy!