Shotgun Strategist Gifts

Redneck Snooker

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'You'll learn that our corporate structure is a bit unconventional.'

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

Corporate pirate.

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

The strong corna war

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

DING DONG!

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Battle.

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

Actualities - Dream of the inventor of the needle-gun on All Souls' Day

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

"I think we should have used catapults before ground forces"

I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game

"Don't be fooled - he's no pushover."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

Service Entry.

The New Weapon of Mass Destruction.