Short And Proud Pillows

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"A shave and a shine."

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Superbaldie.

Cat on Board.

The shape of things to come

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

Baldness Facts

Muy mum rocks.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"Y'know, although I went completely bald, I STILL carry a comb in my pocket!"

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'

'Nothing on this planet - Just barren wasteland...'

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

"The only thing getting thinner, is my hair."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

Combs for the old.

Bird landing on egghead monk

The four stages of male hair loss.

"...and how would sir like it?"

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

'In winter no-one knows that you're bald.'

Welcome to Bald Mountain/Comb Over Here

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'I don't care if you're going bald, it's just plain wrong.'