Short And Proud Gifts

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"A shave and a shine."

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Superbaldie.

Muy mum rocks.

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

Cat on Board.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

The shape of things to come

Baldness Facts

"Y'know, although I went completely bald, I STILL carry a comb in my pocket!"

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'

'Nothing on this planet - Just barren wasteland...'

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

"The only thing getting thinner, is my hair."

Combs for the old.

Bird landing on egghead monk

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

The four stages of male hair loss.

"...and how would sir like it?"

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

'Shaving is better because no one can tell if you're really bald or not.'

'In winter no-one knows that you're bald.'

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts

Welcome to Bald Mountain/Comb Over Here

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'