Shopping Sleuths Pillows

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Low Hanging Fruit

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Alphabet soup

Internet Shoplifting

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

To avoid malnutrition, throw away the contents and eat the package.

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Undercover Santa

Woman in grocery store sees live vegetables growing beneath farm-fresh vegetables sign.

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

Salad dressing for success.

Writer's block

Window of Opportunity

'Bargain basement sale ... Everything's down but the prices.'

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

Your husband will kill you!

Man to run supermarket (out of town)

"Who's next?"

"You're right - the shipping isn't free. They've folded the expense in the cost of the item."