Shopping Sleuths Gifts

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Low Hanging Fruit

Alphabet soup

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

Internet Shoplifting

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Galen Weston jr. comes clean.

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

To avoid malnutrition, throw away the contents and eat the package.

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Woman in grocery store sees live vegetables growing beneath farm-fresh vegetables sign.

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

Undercover Santa

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

Salad dressing for success.

"Who's next?"

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

Your husband will kill you!

Writer's block

Man to run supermarket (out of town)

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

Window of Opportunity

'Bargain basement sale ... Everything's down but the prices.'