Supermarket Sleuth Gifts

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

'And I bet that's only the packaging!'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Woman in supermarket under sign reading 'Buy one throw the other one away.'

To avoid malnutrition, throw away the contents and eat the package.

Salad dressing for success.

"There's traces of zebra in your barcodes."

'She's the only customer I've known to actually count the holes in the Swiss cheese!'

Old lady trapped between shopping trolleys.

'This one is one hundred percent organic.'

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

'As a matter of fact, these apples are really transgenic onions.'

'I've nowt to checkout - you've move everything again.'

'How long do you reckon they've been passing off horsemeat for beef?'

'Friend of mine got in the express lane with 16 items. I never saw her again.'

Present all bags and bank accounts for inspection.

'Now think on . . . no asking for directions!'

'Look, is it 'Buy one - get one free', or 'Two for the price of one'?'

"Who's next?"

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Crikey! Economic migrants from Middle England."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Excuse me luv, do you know what's happened to all my 'stuff'?

Fry's Supermarket.

'Well, they finally simplified the nutritional information!'

Low Hanging Fruit

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"Come on, you're the store detective, is my husband having an affair with the checkout girl or not?"

Woman in grocery store sees live vegetables growing beneath farm-fresh vegetables sign.

'Now that's what you call a corner shop!'

Alphabet soup

'Return shopping carts here and there.'