Shopping Mall Employee Gifts

Charity Santa with tip jar.

But is it organic?

High security Santa's grotto

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

Only One Item or Fewer.

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

Cook in the cookery section.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

How much would you take off for cash?

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Health and Safety Guidelines.

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'