Shopping Mall Employee Gifts

Charity Santa with tip jar.

But is it organic?

High security Santa's grotto

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

Only One Item or Fewer.

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Cook in the cookery section.

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

How much would you take off for cash?

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

Health and Safety Guidelines.

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

Sale today - 50% off everything!