Shopping Holiday Gifts

11 Shopping Days

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Killer Executive Suits.

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

The Vineyard

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Easter Island legs

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

The Baby Walker

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Tourists

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Meet the scribe"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."