Shopper Without A Clue T-Shirts

"Attention, shoppers. We have another lost husband at the customer service counter."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

Down on Her.

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Undercover Santa

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

"And now for a long hard look at the changing profile of High Street Banking."

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

Very little fan fair.

At the monster supermarket.

New Jersey's Miracle Mile.

"We're closed!"

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

'The Ridiculous Slippers Shop'

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'