Shopper Without A Clue T-Shirts

"Attention, shoppers. We have another lost husband at the customer service counter."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

"And now for a long hard look at the changing profile of High Street Banking."

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

Undercover Santa

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

At the monster supermarket.

Very little fan fair.

"We're closed!"

'The Ridiculous Slippers Shop'

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

New Jersey's Miracle Mile.

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'