Shopper With A Twist Gifts

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"Excuse me. I can't find the camouflage clothing."

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"My consumer confidence has been replaced with consumer sarcasm."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

Body Wash/Hog Wash.

"Do you have these in extra medium?"

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Unusual Offers

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Please enter your pin now.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

Jumble Sale

"Does it come with magnets?"

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".