Shopper Of Chaos T-Shirts

'Use a basket? That's too much trouble.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Multi-tasking.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Modern History: Last Year/Last Month/Last Week/Yesterday.

'Food fight!'

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

Files.

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

Run. Freeze. Run again! Turn around. Run! No, freeze!

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Method/Madness

Car with upright Christmas tree.

"What a noise! Sounds like two disco dancing elephants"

"The candy bar I bought got stuck, so Johnny tried to get it out. First he put his hand inside. . . then his arm. . . then. . ."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'The fans are getting impatient. ... Let's give him another minute. If he doesn't come to by then, we'll the brawl without him.'

Hell for cashiers.

At the monster supermarket.

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

1000 things to Demolish before you die

Before the city's hiring spree.

'Call this a present. I hope you kept the receipt!'

"I don't care what you say. It's not Christmas until I see the first fist fight at Walmart."

Mother and son crying.

"Oh great! It's the Coupocalypse."

Arrow shoots through window onto man's dart board.