Shop Till You Drop Diva T-Shirts

"I signed up for a shopaholic class. It was a real bargain."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

Kensington Fluffies

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

How would Madam like to pay?

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Wait! Those shoes are perfect to wear just once...!'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Lady drinking Champagne.

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

How much would you take off for cash?

A day at the races

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"How much is the sign?"

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"

Shoe Whore

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

"We'd like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand on a handbag."

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

'Excuse me, but is there any chance of finding me a decaffeinated clerk?'

Bargains