Shop Floor Detective Gifts

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

The United States' economy deflating.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Low Hanging Fruit

Alphabet soup

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

Have you seen my money?

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Hipster Police Department

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."