Shop Employee T-Shirts

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Cut Price

"This is daring, but I like it."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

How would Madam like to pay?

We stock ALL sizes...

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

How much would you take off for cash?

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

All Major Cash Honored.

Sold It All.

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'Or if that's too expensive, why don't you bring yours in for a nice paint job?'