Shop Assistant T-Shirts

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'And this style comes with a complimentary podiatrist appointment.'

'Do you have this in sheep?'

Service with a smile.

'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'

'It's from our 'One Size Fits None' line.'

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

'I'm sorry, madam, that's not much help - lots of books start !Once upon a time!'

'A first aid kit...good choice! You'll need it after cutting your fingers on the plastic packaging.'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

"Now then, what does Madam desire?"

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

Toilet Paper Hill

"I'm afraid you've maxed out your consumer confidence."

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

'When it does, deliver it to this address.'

"Do you want to see the right size first, or should we work up to it gradually?"

"I'm putting my trust in you, Colin..."

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'

''Sorry, we get no demand for it'- if I've said that once today, I've said it a hundred times!'

'How about these overalls?'

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'To be honest, I'm surprised you employed me!'

'I don't like it. I wanted one that shape.'

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

New Shoes.

'I think the manager's about to complain about the floor being wet.'