Shop Companion Pillows

"Hold my purse while I try this on."

"Quit being a baby and come help me pick out a new top."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I heard they mate for life."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Reading the sports pages.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Skier and his dog.

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Wedding Chefs

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Best friends without borders.

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

Love.

The Old Curiosity Shop

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

'How long has what been going on?'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"I made you a vest."

Flea market

McHappy