Shop Companion T-Shirts

"Hold my purse while I try this on."

"Quit being a baby and come help me pick out a new top."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I heard they mate for life."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Reading the sports pages.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

Skier and his dog.

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

Wedding Chefs

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Best friends without borders.

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

"Things were going along great with Greg and me, and then the 'Diceman' returned."

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

Love.

The Old Curiosity Shop

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

'How long has what been going on?'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

I just can't help feeling that we'd be good together.

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"I made you a vest."