Shoe Critic Gifts

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"I can't stand women's toe-roots peeping out from their shoes!"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hate this time of year."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.