Shock Jock Gifts

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

"It's my new Taser app, Dave. What do you think?"

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Office worker chips a golf ball into in tray on a desk at work.

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

"I'm using the ground as a safeguard against plummeting."

Stun-gun target practice.

Meet the Artist

Bunny Tushman - the Biggest Bum in Major League.

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

Early Football

'Tower, I'm over the city and low of fuel, but no sweat - I'm dropping my missiles and bombs, which should make me light enough to reach the runway.'

Child with an eyeball in his mouth.

'And what makes you think this classroom wasn't wired properly?'

Changing Rooms Uncut

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

"Sleazy listening FM. We always lower the tone."

'You're failing chemistry!' 'But...you're taking away my dream of becoming a professional athlete!'

Puppetry of the Penis

"My venom is too slow-acting for my liking: I use a taser instead..."

Man abseiling.

"We've started him in The Loose Connections Department."

'Isn't it great. It's made from that certain part of the male body.'

'I told you not to touch the hot line!'

'George, why don't you break down and buy a electric fence tester.'

"Yikes! You scared me. Don't ever sneak up on me like that again!"

"You tell me if the roast beef is fresh."

Football Dinosaur

'Let's just say he had a shock when he tried to catch me...'