Shiver Specialist T-Shirts

'Ooh! Someone walked over my grave.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

The Bargain Brand

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

Book: Lies, Damned Lies and Marketing. . . The World's Best-Selling Book. . . Ever!

"After six weeks of camping out here to observe our operations, the design firm has created a new logo. It's our company's name in blue lower-case letters."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Google signwriter.

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"The board told us it helps brand us as a team."

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

"It's all about appealing to my target demographic."

"After practicing dermatology every day, maybe you should try branching out from those warts-and-all biographies."

"Yes, I have allergies! Hundreds! Because my crazy mother kept me in a germ-free house with no pets and I developed zero immunities!"

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

'Every time he lectures about serotonin, he puts me to sleep.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

Marketing in the Anthropocene Era: "Hey, it's basically just another branding challenge. How do we make the looming possibility of human extinction sexy?"

Menace.

'I'm so relieved Doc: It would have been a tragedy if he had had a peanut allergy...'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'And here's old Elias T. Pendergast - a legend in the advertising game. He's the one who successfully marketed the Ass-Expander.'