Shish Kebab Aficionado Gifts

'When he walked in the door and said, 'Not shis kabob again!', that's when I let him have it.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

Filling the Missile Gap

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

The Deli Llama

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

Barbecue Fetch

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

Bowl Games.

'A sandwich?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

One Hour Sandwich shop

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."