Ship Christening Pillows

'They're sure not making Champagne bottles the way they used to.'

HMS Non-Binary "May God bless it and all who sail in it."

'It won't open? Try hitting it with a new ocean liner.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Early Piety

Baby Playing Violin

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Baptism Then and Now

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

On board the MS Hepatology

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"Sinead?!"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

The Christening Party

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'Quit goofing around Harold, the ferry is going to leave soon.'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

"Ha ha! Too late!"

'Therefore I do christen this child 'Isyouis Oris You Ain't.''

"You need to get a move on vicar, you're doing the Christening in half an hour."