Ship Christening Pillows

'They're sure not making Champagne bottles the way they used to.'

HMS Non-Binary "May God bless it and all who sail in it."

'It won't open? Try hitting it with a new ocean liner.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Early Piety

Baby Playing Violin

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Baptism Then and Now

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

On board the MS Hepatology

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

"Sinead?!"

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

The Christening Party

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'Quit goofing around Harold, the ferry is going to leave soon.'

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah