Christenings Pillows

'And now if you'd care to move over to the font...'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Bubbly

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Cardiac Recovery.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Dancing Doctor

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"We won!"

Early Piety

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

A couple dressed as a knife and fork