Ship Captain Jokes Gifts

Remote control pirate bully

Sailor in Car.

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Captain steering house through flood.

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Sea weed harvest.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lighthouse Beam.

Lifesaver!

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

Pirate dogs burying bones.

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Distractions.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'