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'My client is a genius composer. He writes all the spaces between the notes.'

'That should discourage my imitators.'

Musical washing

Precussionist

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Piano Prompt

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"Hmm.... now I hadn't noticed THAT before..."

Profits - "It's worse than you think it goes down to the third floor."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

'...and if you want to see this month's figures, you'll have to go down to the basement!'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

'This chart has no correlation to data. It's just to us feel good about our big bonuses and perks.'

Manifest Destiny for Accountants

Required Reeding.